Changing How We See Things Changes the World
Posted on | August 10, 2009 | No Comments
A client of mine called me recently asking me about how to fire someone. I asked him to tell me why he felt this person was not doing her job. He went on at length about all the things she had done wrong. After a time, I asked, “What does she do well?’ His answer was, “I don’t know, probably nothing.” I challenged him to spend the next week intentionally looking for what she did well – or for anything she contributed positively. He resisted a bit, but I assured him that he could still fire her if wanted to, but just to try this exercise for a week.
A week went by and I called him. With some surprise in his voice he told me that he had seen number of things that he had not seen before. He talked about how well this person handled a meeting, how she created a working paper that was very thorough. He also had seen her ask some really good questions, and so much more. Overall, he was surprised by what he had observed and now was reluctant to fire her. He admitted to becoming so focused on the negative that he had become blind to her strengths and contributions. His decision ultimately was to continue observing her over a longer period of time to ensure a balanced viewpoint.
This dynamic happens to us all. There is a saying, “We are what we see.” We create our lives through what we choose to see. It’s easy to go out every day and “see” rudeness or other negative behaviors, especially if that’s what we are looking for. That’s one of the ways we create our world view – that things are really bad in our society. But what if we decided to look for the good in the world – kind gestures, heroic acts, simple but polite kindnesses – would we begin to see good in our world? Would we change our world view? And if we change our world view, I believe we would be happier, which in turn, if my guess is correct, would make us more inclined to act accordingly.
Try it for a week and see what happens. Commit to looking for all the kind gestures or for all the good news. See what happens and notice the effect on you. I’d love to hear what you learn.
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