Setting Goals in Conversation: What Do You Want?
Posted on | October 27, 2009 | 2 Comments
Following my recent blog post about clarifying the goal of a meeting, I had the opportunity to put that advice into action. A colleague of mine was asking for my opinion on a situation she was grappling with. She began the conversation with, “I want to ask you about a situation.” And then she launched into the details of a complicated organizational dynamic. Tons of details poured out at me, fast and furious. I was truly overwhelmed. I couldn’t keep up. And truthfully, I didn’t want to track all the details.
My last blog note was about the importance of setting goals at the beginning of a conversation was fresh in my mind. So at the risk of seeming rude, I stopped my colleague and said,” Before you go any further, can you tell m what you want from me? Do you have a specific question you want me to answer?”
She stopped dead in her tracks. I had clearly caught her off guard. She looked stunned, but she sat and though for a while. Then she said, yes, I want you tell me if I can coach the executive and his team at the same time.” She added, “Asking me what I wanted was really helpful. I can focus my ‘story’ now on what you need to know.”
I was so relieved! I did not need to take in every detail. I could look at the issues through a particular lens. I could choose the salient and relevant points to consider. Having a “goal” gave both of us a way to focus our attention. My colleague was able to describe the important facts more succinctly and I could listen for what information I needed to give an opinion.
The simple technique of asking, upfront, “what is the goal?” both streamlined the conversation and allowed us to get to the desired endpoint quicker.
This story is just an example of the many ways that we engage in dialogue without knowing why we are talking!! As the talker or the listener we have a responsibility to get clear on the expected outcome! If the presenter doesn’t offer the goal, you as the listener can ask for it.
Try it and see what happens. I’d love to hear your experiences with trying this technique out.
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2 Responses to “Setting Goals in Conversation: What Do You Want?”
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February 11th, 2010 @ 8:59 am
Setting Goals in Conversation: What Do You Want?…
Set goals in your conversation so you enter the conversation knowing what you want. Read this article now to get what you want in your next conversation….
April 7th, 2010 @ 4:16 am
Set Conversational Goals for Success…
Set goals in your conversation so you enter the conversation knowing what you want. Read this article now to get what you want in your next conversation….