But while people generally want the same things, there are great generational differences in values, goals and communication styles and skills. When you are preparing to talk to someone of another generation, it’s helpful to think about your generational style and preferences and theirs. We have a tendency to think that how we want to communicate is how another person wants to. This is not always the case. There are real and substantial differences in how members of each generation communicate.

Below you will find a brief description of each generation and some tips for communicating with them. As you look at these lists bear in mind that these are generalizations compiled by sociologists, and that each person is unique and should be viewed as such. Hopefully these descriptions and tips will spark your thinking as you plan your conversations.

I. The Traditionalists
Also known as the Silent Generation, the traditionalists grew up with the Great Depression and World War II. They value hard work, loyalty, conformity and sacrifice. They work because it’s the right thing to do. They respect authority, value a person’s word and get their identity from their career. When communicating with a Traditionalist:
•Don’t expect them to openly share their thoughts or feelings easily or immediately.
•Focus on your words.
•Understand your word is your bond.
•Use face-to-face or written forms.
•Use formal style – sir, ma’am.
•Don’t waste their time.
•Show respect for their experience.

II. Baby Boomers
Baby Boomers were raised in a relatively stable economic time and had parents who wanted them to have more than they did. This generation is accustomed to competing in a large post-war generation. They value hard work in the pursuit of success, teamwork and competition and want to make a difference in the world. When communicating with Boomers:
•Use body language to transmit the message.
•Speak in an open and direct manner.
•Expect questions and to be asked for the details.
•Offer options to show your flexibility.
•Communicate that you value them.

III. Gen Xers
Despite its relatively young demographic, Generation X is considered economically conservative and somewhat cynical. They saw the failures of their parents’ generation. They do not rely on institutions for their long-term security. They value their time and want work-life balance. They like information and are used to getting it fast. When communicating with the Gen Xers:
•Employ electronic modes if possible.
Use short sound bites. Keep it short and simple.
•Give them feedback often.
•Ask for their feedback.
•Share information and keep them in the loop.
•Use an informal style.
•Give them room to do things their way.

IV. Millennials or Gen Y
The youngest generation currently in the work force, Millennials or Generation Y grew up in a high-tech world. This generation values autonomy and positive reinforcement. They are used to and expect diversity. They value the entrepreneurial spirit, creativity and independence. When communicating with Millennials:
•Use action words.
•Challenge them.
•Seek their feedback.
•Give them feedback continually, and preferably positively.
•Use email or voicemail.
•Encourage them to take risks.
•Use humor.
•Give them an opportunity to work with bright, creative people.

We have all had first impressions. Where do they come from?? We just see someone and we get sense of them. Some people feel intense, some warm and friendly, some aloof, some guarded and so on. The immediate impression you make is important to know. This energy is foundational. It’s what people sense or pick up almost immediately. How you use that quality can directly impact your work with others. If you ignore it, you may well be impacting in ways you are unaware of. If you use the quality with care it can support you in being successful.

If you come off as soft, you have more latitude with the words you choose. A client of mine who is a high-ranking executive in the government asked me to help her have a more authoritative presence. In her case, she had a very warm and soft presence. We were not going to change that; we were going to use it. We worked on strengthening her words. Given her natural warmth, she could use much stronger language than someone who has a commanding or intimidating presence. People with a strong, imposing presence have to soften their language to counter their natural energy. Being aware of your natural energy can help you adjust both you tone ad words to create in a conscious way the impact you want to have.

Take some time and think about how you strike people in a first impression. How would others describe you? Ask a few friends, “What was your first impression of me?” Another very telling exercise is to get with friend or trusted colleague and ask them to finish this sentence “ In your presence, I feel…” Their answers you get will be clues about how you strike people before you even talk!

Use the rule of “confront with your words and support with your tone.” If you bear in mind what energetics you bring and adjust this formula accordingly you will, in all likelihood, be able to manage your impact with more precision.

Try it. I’d love to hear your thoughts.