There are some guidelines to help you decide whether a meeting is necessary or not—but they don’t completely answer the question. That’s because meetings serve two purposes: to do collective work and to create community.

We often forget the community part, which is unfortunate. Everyone I know wants to have a sense of belonging at work, and meetings are often where that happens. Yet we try to keep them short, as demonstrated by the “stand-up meetings” that are currently in vogue. Or we issue tons of e-mails to replace meetings altogether.

These and other such devises have merits and, in fact, may reduce unnecessary meeting time. But they fail to provide employees with a sense of belonging and of collegiality.

Instead of focusing on cutting the length of meetings, start looking for ways to build community in them. Make them friendlier, more positive. Create opportunities for small group discussions, and give airtime for people to talk to each other. The stronger the bonds are between workers, and between the workers and the organization, the higher the morale and loyalty.

Next time you set up a meeting try a few techniques and see what happens. The results may be evident in the meeting immediately or they might take some time, but you will see a difference. Some ideas:

1. Have everyone say something at the beginning of the meeting. It might be personal or it might be something they hope to get from the meeting or it could be an accomplishment they are proud of. Just get everyone talking!!

2. Bring food. Allow some informal time at the beginning or the middle of the meeting. Let people chat informally.

3. For some part of your agenda ask people to get into pairs or trios and talk about the issue at hand. Let them report out their collective thoughts. Sometimes sharing on behalf of a small group is easier than sharing your own individual ideas. The smallness of the group will also allow some personal interaction.

4. At the end of the meeting ask each person to share learning, a take-away, or an appreciation. Again, get people involved and talking. Keep it as positive as possible.

5. Bring things for the table like simple toys. It’s a technique that is very useful. It brings some fun into the room and it reduces stress. Many of my clients who at first thought it odd to have toys told me later that it helped them pay attention better and it made the meeting more enjoyable. (And I have lost a few toys along the way, because many of my clients apparently wanted to keep them!)

6. Get away from a conference table. Use small tables or chairs. Use a different room, one that may be a lot friendlier or even cozy. Creating an inviting environment will help as well.

Last night I was attending a meeting but not running it. It ran amuck! People were talking over each other and around each other. There was very little semblance of order. The group had to make a decision, but time was running out. Being a trained facilitator, I was trying hard to stay in observer mode and see if I could summarize the conversation and help the group see where it was. I could not do it. But here’s what I did do:

I stopped the conversation and all the disparate voices. I simply noted the time, reminded everyone of our collective goal, and asked if we might take a minute and go around the room to get everyone’s perspective on where they stood on the issue at hand. I called it a straw poll. They agreed and proceeded. It took some diligence on my part to keep the group quiet while each person talked, but we finally got everyone’s voice heard. Then the group was able to see where each person stood on the issue and what open questions still needed to be answered. The group was then able to reach a conclusion fairly quickly.

A list of lessons often attributed in an e-mail chain letter to the Dalai Lama (but actually lifted from Life’s Little Instruction Book) includes this gem: “When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.” So what’s the lesson here? A few:

1. You don’t always have to know everything. Ask others.
2. When conversations get messy, most people know it—and would welcome some help.
3. Be brave enough to point out what’s happening. It can be a relief to others!
4. When the process isn’t working, stop it.

The technique I used is a pretty simple one: Just suggest that the group take time out and get each person’s perspective. Or, if it’s a voting situation, take a preliminary poll. During this time there can be no debate. This is a just a chance to get a sense of where each person stands on a particular subject. When everyone’s done, then you can ask for a summation and thoughts for next steps. It’s easy and fairly quick, and it allows everyone to get a fuller picture of where things stand.

As always I would be interested in your feedback or experiences. As that “Dalai Lama” e-mail also advised, “Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.”

First, let’s review the elements of a good meeting:

All meetings should have an agenda. But what does an effective agenda include? Here are the elements:

• Overall purpose: What is this meeting supposed to produce?
• Leadership: Who is formally in charge of the meeting?
• Attendees: Do we have the right people in the room for what we are doing here today?
• Topics: What are the topics we want to cover, and in what order, to achieve our purpose?
• What is the desired outcome of each of these “conversations” (information sharing, information gathering or a decision)?
• Who is in charge of each of the conversations?
• How long will each conversation last?
• Decision-making: Who are the decision makers? How will they be making the decisions, and when?
• Accountabilities: At the end of the meeting there should be a written agreement detailing who is doing what, when they will do it, and how people will know it was done.
• Evaluation: How did this meeting go?

Now that you know the elements of a good meeting, YOU can start positively impacting the productivity of a meeting.

First, you have three opportunities to influence a meeting:

1. Before a meeting
2. During the meeting
3. After the meeting

At any of these points you have four simple but POWERFUL techniques for supporting good meeting performance. You can notice, question, request or offer:

1. Notice: Simply state the data or information that you are observing
Example: I notice that…
“there are two conversations going on.”
“we are missing some key ‘data points.’”
“I am confused.”
“the right people have not been invited.”

2. Question: Ask a question or put an inquiry on the table.
Example: I’m wondering…
“is there a written agenda?”
“who is making this decision?”
“what information do we need to make this decision?”

3. Request: Ask for something.
Example: I would like…
“an agenda.”
“to know what you are hoping I will contribute to this meeting.”

Or

Could…
“ someone summarize what we have discussed?”
“take notes?”

4. Offer: Offer a suggestion that might improve the meeting.
Examples:
It might help if we…
I would be willing to…..
Maybe we could……

“take the notes.”
“make the next agenda.”
“decide on who should attend the next meeting.”

Before you use any of these techniques, be clear what you want, which technique you are using, and to whom you are speaking. Ask yourself:

• What do I (or the group) want or need?
• From whom do I need it?
• Which technique will work best?

After you have used your techniques, it is imperative to wait for the answer and be sure that the person or persons to whom you addressed your comments answers.

Make a commitment now. What meeting do you lead or attend that you want to improve? What needs improving? Pick one element. Who do you need to address and which technique will you use? Let me know how it goes.